Mistaken Identity

Cat’s Eye Point of View

Admit it parents, you go to school or an activity to pick up one of your kids and you bring home another species by mistake. I admit I’ve done that.

One time I went to retrieve one of my daughters from her school drama rehearsal and didn’t realize until I got home, I’d brought home a Tasmanian Devil instead. It was an honest mistake. Tasmanian Devils and teenage girls sound alike.

That brings us to a cat in the United Kingdom who either thought it was bringing home a kitten or dinner.

The unidentified female tabby was recorded by TikTok user lisamatty13 holding a squealing baby bunny in its mouth. After a few seconds the cat drops the rabbit and stares at it. What happened after that is a mystery that drew a lot of “what happened to the bunny” comments by viewers and lisamatty13 wasn’t responding to those inquiries.

Was the feline, who is sometimes referred to as Angry Cat in other video captions, looking for her human owners to cook up some Hasenpfeffer? Could it be a case of an interspecies adoption which has happened other times with cats or was the bunny simply a toy?

I put those questions to our do-nothing cat Chester after showing him the video.

“What happened,” Chester said parroting my question as he was watching the horror classic, Pet Sematary. “It doesn’t matter what happened. Whatever that cat wanted to do with the rabbit is fine with me. She found the bunny so do as you please as far as I’m concerned.”

“You’re not worried about the bunny,” I asked.

“I’m a cat, stupid,” Chester shot back as he was cheering the feline Churchill coming back from the dead. “I only care about what happens to other cats, period.”

Chester’s hero cat, Churchill. Courtesy: Paramount Pictures.

“What would you do if you brought home a rabbit,” I inquired.

“Depends on my mood,” Chester said. “If I’m happy, I probably adopt the little bugger. If I’m in a contemplated frame of mind, I probably play with it.”

“And if you’re in a bad mood,” I chimed in.

‘You mean like right now,” Chester said in a sniveling voice. That’s because he just saw Churchill bite the big one near the end of Pet Sematary. “If I’m in a bad mood that bunny is going to join me for a meal, except it will be for a table of one.”

Cat lover Stephen King with his pets though Chester would beg to differ King loves cats.

The way Chester said that scared me, just like Churchill in the movie that now ended. So, I quickly tried to change the subject.

“I hear we might get some snow, what do you think of that,” I asked hoping to distract our cat from the cinematic calamity that had just unfolded before Chester’s eyes.

“What a horrible movie,” Chester yelled. “How can you have the hero cat get killed off? Who wrote this garbage?”

“Stephen King,” I interjected, turning the spotlight on someone else. “You know he’s a cat lover.”

“Cats were the gangsters of the animal world, living outside the law and often dying there. There were a great many of them who never grew old by the fire.”

Stephen King, Pet Sematary

“B.S.,” exclaimed Chester. “No one can be a cat lover if they’re killing off cats in a movie.”

“Actually, King wrote the book first, then it was turned into a movie,” I said foolishly.

And with that I had released the Kraken.

“I don’t care about bunnies, Stephen King or anything else right now. Can’t you see how upset I am for poor Churchill,” Chester wailed.

Then Chester took a sinister turn.

“We need to put a contract out on Stephen King,” the tormented tabby said with narrowed eyes.

“Huh,” I said in disbelief. “You mean like put a hit on him?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Chester said with a sly smile. “You know anyone who can to it?”

Chester lets Stephen King know how upset he is with the ending of Pet Sematary. Note: No authors were hurt in the making of this picture.

In a desperate attempt to save Stephen King’s life, I pointed out another book/movie Chester might like. One that would spare the author from our cat’s wrath.

“There’s another work by King you might like,” I began. “It has a happy ending for the cat while people are dying right and left.”

“Shoot,” said Chester.

“It’s called Cat’s Eye and the hero cat appears in three short stories. The hero cat survives several close calls and triumphs in the end. See, King likes cats in his works too. How about you forget the contract on him,” I asked, almost pleading for a positive response.

“I’ll think about it,” Chester said. “But now I need something to take my mind off of poor Churchill.”

“I’ll tell you what cat, let’s watch a romantic musical comedy about cats,” I said, opening the memory bank of my mind to when I was a youth.

“I’m listening,” Chester said with interest.

“Let’s watch The Aristocats,” I said excitedly, hoping my enthusiasm would rub off on Chester. “It’s a fun Disney flick and it has a happy cat ending.”

“I like that,” Chester said smiling. “I get the couch and a big bowl of kibble.”

“Agreed,” I said.

And we had a movie night that put Chester in a good mood.

Somewhere in the world, Stephen King had no idea how close he was to getting taken out by a ferocious tabby.

You’re welcome, Stephen King and you owe me big time.

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