© 2021 / Geoff Herman. All Rights Reserved.

Failure to abide by the above copyright could result in severe repercussions. They are, but not limited to:

  • Forced to return a gift the day after Christmas at Walmart’s customer service desk. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, a returnable item will be provided. You should be done by March.
  • Must take a transcontinental flight sitting in the middle seat of coach. On one side, a crying baby and her screaming mother telling her newborn to be quiet. On the other, a boozer, where you realize there aren’t enough barf bags on the plane for what he’s going to do during the next 10 hours. Also, the person in front of you likes to sleep with his seat all the way down and the bratty kid behind you loves to kick yours.
  • Become a New York Jets fan.
  • Guillotine (more humane than the other consequences).

The Chester Chronicles is EOE (equal opportunity extortionist) compliant. You have embarrassing photos, videos or tweets you thought were deleted from the internet; we’ll find them. That third grade essay on what you did during your summer vacation which was plagiarized from Jack Kerouac’s, On the Road. We’ll expose that too.

Chester needs to pad his Cayman Islands bank account and you are his target audience.

On behalf of Chester, we thank you for your patronage.