Unequal Justice

Size Matters

“It’s not the size of the dog cat in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog cat.”

Mark Twain (as edited by a cat)

Law enforcement recently discovered that Mark Twain was correct, though it doesn’t hurt to be a large feline.

In Thailand, a small cat named Nub Tang (meaning count money) was minding her own business when a citizen took her into the police station for allegedly being lost.

The person never asked Nub Tang if she was lost. The human just assumed that was the case.

You know what happens when you assume.

Nub Tang was pissed.

At the police station, the American Shorthair, wearing a pink collar, went ballistic on several officers by biting and scratching them.

“This cat has been charged with assaulting police officers and is about to be detained. Please share this post so her owner can come and bail her out,” Bangkok Police Lieutenant Parinda Yukol Pakeesuk stated on Facebook.

Think about it. If a policeman had seen Nub Tang walking about, he wouldn’t be able to arrest the cat unless the animal was suspected of committing a crime or believed to have the intention to do so. Otherwise, it would violate Thai law to incarcerate the feline without a warrant.

Police took Nub Tang’s mugshot, tested her for catnip (negative) and cuteness (positive).

Now, Nub Tang was facing time in the slammer because she was upset about losing her freedom.

Fortunately, Pakeesuk had a heart and brought her home.

Pakeesuk set-up food, toys and litter for his guest.

“She is living her best life while the police are the true victims,” Pakeesuk wrote on social media while also posting a photo of Nub Tang.

The photo paid off. The owners came forward the following day to pick up their felon.

If you think Nub Tang was happy, she wasn’t.

Her holders dressed her up in a frilly lace collar much to the cat’s dismay.

To make things worse, the police forced Nub Tang to ink a confession.

“I was just hungry. I did not mean to bite anyone,” the coerced cat was forced to sign in a bit of revisionist history, covering up Nub Tang’s illegal detention.

The police even snapped a picture so she’d never forget her humiliation.

Nub Tang may have had a lot of fight in her, but in the end, her small size couldn’t overcome her human tormentors.

Such was not the case for another much larger cat.

An unnamed bobcat in Ken Caryl, Colorado wasn’t going to be pushed around by the law.

The mile-high feline strolled into one of the town’s abodes and made itself at home.

The homeowner, who hadn’t invited the bobbed-tailed critter, called in the law to deal with the intruder.

Officers from the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office arrived and were directed into the living room, where they found the bobcat chilling on a shelf by a turned-off TV.

“Hi, kitty, kitty,” as the feline just stared at him.

“I’m gonna see if he chases the laser. I don’t know, cats like lasers.”

“It’s not a normal cat,” the homeowner countered.

“Cats are all the same! They all like the same thing,” the deputy said.

With that, Barney Fife tried to coax the critter out of the home with a laser pointer.

Unimpressed Bobcat Ignores Lasers, Strolls Out of Ken Caryl Home on Its Own Terms

Cats and dogs chase laser pointers, but this bobcat was not impressed. When it wandered into a Ken Caryl home and cozied up behind the TV, our deputies thought
outside the box—trying their TASER’s… pic.twitter.com/JcpuV2N0tY

— Jeffco Sheriff (@jeffcosheriffco) May 28, 2025

The bobcat didn’t move a muscle and allegedly called the deputy a “putz.”

With the homeowner not pressing charges, the badge boys left.

Later, the cat walked out on its own via an open back door, shaking its head incredulously at what it had just experienced. The so-called higher-order thinking species was dumber than the bobcat thought it could be.

“I agree with that thought,” Chester, our do-nothing cat, said from the next room while watching Judge Mathis.

“You people aren’t as smart as you think you are,” Chester continued. “And you’re a scarry species at that.”

“How so,” I asked, taking the bait.

“I didn’t know other countries had that iced tea thing like we do here,” Chester hissed.

“Iced tea thing?”

“Or maybe it’s called ice cube.”

“You mean ICE, like in U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Chester sneered.

“That poor cat in Thailand, wherever that is. She was minding her own business when a human picked her up and took her to the police with no justification,” Chester said with a tone of righteous indignation.

“I don’t think they have ICE in Thailand,” I meekly said, seeing that Chester was working himself up into a frenzy.

“They must have something like it. Why else would you catnap a virtuous feline for just being outside?”

“I don’t….”

“They must be called something like iceberg or icebox,” Chester said, fishing for the name of the evil organization that took Nub Tang to the authorities.

“You noticed that posse didn’t mess with the bobcat,” Chester crowed.

“Yes,” I concurred. “I wouldn’t want to mess with a bobcat either.

“That’s my point. Seems like the humans with badges don’t want to mess with a cat closer to their own size.

“Us smaller cats can’t go out alone. We need to stick together and document when people try to take away our rights to be outside and do cat stuff.

“Of course, it helps if you’re a lion or bobcat.”

“Okay, but cats don’t have the same rights as people,” I countered.

“Says who?”

“Seems kind of obvious to me. You’re our pets, not the other way around.”

“I consider you a pet,” Chester growled. “Better yet, I consider you my servant!”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Oh really? Do I bring you your dinner? No. Do I drive you to the doctor? No. Do you sleep most of the day and not go to work? No.

“Now, do you bring me my dinner? Yes. Do you drive me to that vet doctor person? Yes. Do I sleep most of the day and not have to bother with a job? Yes.

“Do I clean the bathroom? No. Do you clean my litter box? Yes. Do I undertake yard and housework? No. Do you? Yes.”

“Wow, I never thought of it that way,” I stammered.

“You even pay taxes,” Chester hooted. “What a sucker.”

“I’m getting depressed,” I mumbled.

“Now, get me a bowl of water,” Chester ordered.

“Yes, your lordship.”

“And I’ll take ice with that.”