Crazy Little Thing Called Pet Love
Has jealously with your significant other crept into your relationship; not because of another man or woman, but a pet?
A recent survey of 2,000 cat and dog owners in the United Kingdom revealed that 3 in 10 people believe their partner is jealous of the attention they give their pet. And that’s the tip of the human iceberg relationship.
Though The Chester Chronicles is devoted to cats, dog owners can play along too and compare yourself to the findings from Webbox. To participate you need a human companion and own a pet.
Here are the questions for you to ponder:
- Do you have more photos on your phone of your human or four-legged companion?
- Would you rather snuggle with your human or pet?
- You kiss your pet more than your partner?
- You’d rather receive a Valentine’s Day card from your pet than your human lover?
- You talk more about your pet than your spouse/partner?
- Do you love your pet more than the person you’re married to or dating?
Times up, and maybe so is your human relationship depending on your answers.
Here are the findings from the Webbox survey:
- Do you have more photos on your phone of your human or four-legged companion? Almost half said they have more pictures of their pet than their partner with the overall average of 40 pet pictures on a phone.
- Would you rather snuggle with your human or pet? Twenty-five percent said their pet.
- You kiss your pet more than your partner? Thirty-five percent kiss their pet more.
- You’d rather receive a Valentine’s Day card from your pet than your human lover? Almost a third said they’d rather get a card from Fluffy or Fido than their significant other.
- You talk more about your pet than your spouse/partner? Twenty-three percent said their pet.
- Do you love your pet more than the person you’re married to or dating? More than 4 out of 10 said they love their pet more than their partner.
So next time someone says “your wife is a bitch,” or “your husband is a pussy,” they may be dead-on correct.
Who am I to judge? Though if you take things too far, you should move to West Virginia, New Mexico, Wyoming or Hawai’i, where there are no current laws against hanky-panky that goes beyond what is considered decent behavior.
Anyway, getting back to the survey. I asked my wife, Genifer, a couple of these questions to see where I stood compared to Chester.
Would you rather snuggle with me or Chester? Genifer said not Chester because he’s “a pain in the ass.” After a few seconds she added, “and so are you.” So that’s a push.
Do you have more photos on your phone of me or Chester? Genifer said it wasn’t close, plenty more photos of Chester than me and the number is way over 40. I knew the answer to this one before I asked since I can’t remember the last time she pointed her phone at me to take a picture.
After that, I stopped asking since I had a strong feeling which way she was leaning; towards Chester.
In the corner of my eye, I could see Chester giggling.
“Those questions are designed to ridicule you, big guy,” Chester said with a smile. “Do you really think you had a chance against an adorable, fluffy, snuggle cat like me?”
“She did call you a ‘pain in the ass’,” I countered.
“Can’t argue against the truth,” Chester yielded. “But you know your wife was picking me on all the other questions,” he added with affect.
“Can’t argue against the truth,” I said.
“Word,” Chester said.
Pretty in Pink
A woman in Slovenia is obsessed with her two cats and the color pink. So much so, she’s spent over $3,300 on wardrobes for her pets.
Andreja Vrščaj, 34, has turned her two Persians, Lily, four, and Kaly, three, into feline Barbie cats.
The visual merchandiser from Kočevje, has purchased over 150 articles of clothing and 200 bows for the pampered pussies.
“Every time I go out to buy myself or my daughter Rianna, eight, clothes, I have to get the cats something too,” she told the UK’s Mirror.
“They both love wearing clothes, and they both always look so pretty,” Vrščaj said
There was no confirmation from Lily and Kaly about whether they liked being feline fashionistas. But apparently, they have no choice.
“I love anything pink, as it just compliments their beautiful white fur so well,'” Vrščaj explained. “They have 13 different colored tutus from the Furdrobe Fairy Dust collection which were £40 ($53) each.
“I spoil them so much, because they deserve it.”
I showed our cat Chester photos of the Persians and he was thunderstruck. I’d never seen him like that. The Furdrobe Fairy Dust collection must be the male cat equivalent of Frederick’s of Hollywood for men.
I asked Chester if he was OK, but there was no response. He just stared.
Name an occasion and Vrščaj has bought her furry friends an outfit to match.
The Mirror listed the cats’ bling:
•Elegant Luxury Fur Winter Overcoat: £51 ($68)
•Dog Shiny Princess Dress: £48 ($64)
•Furdrobe Tiffany Dreams Sparkly Tutu: £50 ($67)
•Furdrobe Fairy Dust Tutus: £40 ($53)
•Louie Designer Dog Winter Coat: £66 ($88)
•Pink Pearl Dress with matching hair bow: £35 ($47)
•Santa Paws jacket with hood: £19 ($25)
•Chewnel Summer Dress: £52 ($70)
•Chewnel Coco Purse: £37 ($50)
•Sniffany Tutu Dress: £44 ($59)
•BlingBling Charm Collars: £22 ($30)
•Pink Fur Jackets: £29 ($39)
•Sweet Lady Tutu Dress: £44 ($59)
•Chewnel No.5 Tutu Dress: £44 ($59)
•Fashion Paris Tutu Dress: £44 ($59)
•Furberry Royalty School Uniform: £12 ($16)
•Disney Stitch Jackets: £22 ($30)
•Furberry Tan Plaid Dress: £20 ($27)
•Red and white winter pet dress: £23 ($31)
•Gucci Dog Dress: £32 ($43)
•Sweet Candy Coloured Dog Party Dresses: £14 ($19)
•Long Dog Fashionista jacket: £18 ($24)
•Coco Chewnel Button Me Down Dress: £43 ($58)
•Coco Chewnel Princess Lace Pearl Dress: £51 ($68)
•Unicorn Dog Dress: £24 ($32)
No surprise, the shopaholic says she needs a larger closet to hold her cats’ wardrobes.
“If I see something that I think will look cute on them whilst scrolling online, I will always order it, I’ve gotten them items from all over Europe, the UK and even some things from the US,” Vrščaj said, who appears to want to be a Barbie girl.
Additionally, Vrščaj told the Mirror she provides her cats with daily baths, teeth brushings, bibs at meal times, and placed cat beds and scratching posts in every room. Oh, and they even have their own cat house, but not the ones you find in Nevada.
Depending on your viewpoint, this could be the Pink Pussycats From Hell, but without the music.
Once I saw Chester come out of his stupor, I asked him if he wanted to have a wardrobe like his new fantasy friends, except steered towards a male cat’s taste.
“Naw,” he replied. “I like going au naturel. If you want to put anything on me, it can be a blanket when I’m taking a nap.”
That answer saved me a few hundred bucks which I was grateful for, until he added one thought.
“Can you get me a subscription to the Mirror,” he asked.
“Why,” I inquired.
“For the articles, of course,” he said with a devilish sneer on his puss.